The Trailhead

Each month, you will receive some practical tips on ideas such as eliminating stress, finding your passion, clearing clutter, and maybe even some travel tips and more. Also look for helpful resources including book titles and websites. In addition, don’t be surprised when you find a call to action. I am a coach, after all! I hope you find some useful tidbits. If you decide to take me up on one of the monthly challenges, email me and tell me about it. I would love to hear what you are up to! If you know someone that you think may find something of value in here, please forward this newsletter on. And remember…the adventure begins at the start of The Trailhead!

Welcome to April-it’s been a wild month of weather so far here in the NJ Pinelands. It’s time to say no to the winter-like climate and really bring on the Spring!

Despite the title of this month’s newsletter, it’s not about the war on drugs campaign that popularized the “Just Say No” slogan in the 1980’s and 90’s. I just noticed that for last year’s April Trailhead, I wrote about the beauty of saying yes. This time, I want to give equal voice to the empowering feeling of saying no. Saying no has been something I have learned to cultivate over the past few years. I used to be a yes person; saying yes when I really wanted to say no and in doing so, reducing my personal power while also becoming pretty crabby as a result.

I recently ran into an old acquaintance who was in town visiting family members. While chatting, she asked if I could meet her for dinner during the week while she in town. Part of me wanted to say yes; I hadn’t seen her for a while and it might be fun to catch up. Yet, the real story was that I had just come off of a couple of weeks that had been booked to the hilt with social engagements and I really looked forward to some quiet meals at home in the upcoming week. So I graciously thanked her for her offer but declined, saying that my time was already committed. I continued by saying that we can keep in touch and make plans to get together next time she’s in the area. I gently said no and followed it up with an option for down the road. I walked away from our encounter feeling pleased that I had honored my priorities while also keeping the window open for the next opportunity.

Saying no is not something that comes easily for many folks, especially if you’re used to saying yes most of the time. If you’re like some others, perhaps you sometimes find yourself saying yes to things that are not a priority for you: like taking on an extra project at work when you’re already ‘way overcommitted OR taking a phone call from a friend or family member in the middle of dinner because you feel obligated. We make these choices without much thought and then later notice the unhealthy increase in our levels of stress.

What about YOU? Are you a yes person when you really want to say no? Awareness here is key. Start paying attention to how often you do things that you’d rather not. Be honest with yourself. Have you piled your plated too high with deadlines, obligations, and social events? Saying no can be a scary proposition: it can bring up some real fears: from fear of hurting or disappointing others to fear of consequences. Yet saying no really starts the flow of saying yes to yourself. Once you are able to build up your “saying no” muscles, you’ll begin to feel so much more empowered. I strongly believe that taking those steps to say no is an important part of moving forward to leading a healthier and less-stressful life.

If you could say no to someone or to a situation that’s a current energy drainer in your life, who or what would you say no to? Make a list of at least 5 things you’d like to say no to in the upcoming days and weeks. Then start at the top of your list and begin to take action. Keep me posted…I’d love to offer you support as you build up your “no” muscles!

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On the Trailhead Bookshelf:

Life Makeovers by Cheryl Richardson

365 Ways to Simplify Your Work Life: Ideas that Bring More Time, Freedom, and Satisfaction to Daily Work by Odette Pollar

Time Shifting: Creating More Time to Enjoy Your Life by Stephan Rechtschaffen

And…a wonderful non-related fiction book I just finished reading: Snow Flower and the Secret Fan: A Novel by Lisa See

My 2007 retreats are up on the website. Check out some of the new ones for this season. Next one: this Saturday, April 21^st-The Spring Equinox Hike. Check my website for details. (www.adventurecoach.com Hope to see you there!